Seems to be a good name for my current emotional status.. I've dyed my hair red, spent more money than I ever have on EVERYTHING( it's all been on sale.. but.. I have not missed a sale yet or passed one on for lack of funds.. Store credit anyone?) .. Dave Ramsey suffers mini strokes every time I swipe my card or click PAYPAL me.. I have splurged in every outlet I can and still I have not settled down and said look.. just stop it. I can't. I am having quite the emotional upset.. and I am not depressed. I am just.. becoming a free loving, carefree, happy , be bopping, person that is so opposite the person that I used to be that it's not even funny.
Is rapid personality change a sign of a tumor? Quite Possibly.. or maybe my wisdom teeth grew into my brain and punctured a hole where my depression used to live. It's been coming for awhile now... maybe it's the meditation, yoga, getting outside more, or fall.. that has triggered this onset of pure happy.
We celebrated our 5th anniversary yesterday even though it was really today. We went out to eat at the Melting Pot because I won a gift card and got free chocolate fondue for our anniversary so it was really nice. I loved the duck.. that was my least favorite sounding but I ate every single piece and left Kevin with the rest. I absolutely love that place now. I was so skeptical after hearing reviews from people who have went but I had a totally awesome experience.. and plan on doing it again next year. Oh and I got a Love Martini that was cranberry juice with peach schnapps and some strawberries floating around in it and it was divine... but pretty much all I could handle lol .
Tonight my mom made the best crawfish etoufee...like... melt in your mouth goodness that you just could lick the pot wanting more of. And that came after the boudain balls and crawfish and rice stuffed chicken.. and THAT came after I went to the art fair and ate a couple of home made tamales.. and brought a dozen home for next weekend. So...you could say that this weekend was all about the food. And seeing my soap and bracelet ladies who make me happy inside by making me pretty things to use/wear.
I think I am getting old.. I keep getting sleepy at 11pm and get up at 8... something is off? that or I really am settling into this whole adult thing. 2am bedtimes just don't work anymore.
I think I am figuring out who I am finally..I just don't know if everyone around me can change their stereotypes of me to grow with who I am becoming as I change into the new and improved me. Can I really be stuck as the cynical depressed personality I had in my youth or can I be happy..outgoing.. confident.. still headstrong yet not a bitch. Well I will be a bitch if needed but..not all day :)
Oh well.. I'm old and it's getting to be midnight which means Woot! changes and I can go to bed :)
Namaste
Elizabeth
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