This year was anything if not eventful.. whether or not the events were pleasant that was determined to be more bad than good.. but the tide has changed and we have set our sails in a new brighter direction.. which will hopefully lead us to more promising.. happier.. locations.
This year came to a close.. by providing a Christmas miracle to anyone who lives in the south. It actually snowed on Christmas. And right now.. it's still snowing.. Every year growing up we all wished for snow.. and every year.. we got horribly disappointed. This year, with everything getting turned around... we get snow. We needed snow.. snow is this magical thing that makes everything peaceful. I feel like it's going to be good.. it's going to be all new.. and everything is changing and I need to change with it.
Next year we are looking forward to William going to school, maybe getting Randy into some clinical trials, and doing a whole home renovation.. so I am going to be quite a busy person. Everything in my life seems to be on this rocket ship forward.. and it's so easy to get caught up in every little thing that happens.. I am trying really hard to not be so rigid when it comes to change..
This Christmas I wanted to give myself a gift.. the gift of a new start.. a new fresh start... I have all my old baggage and it needs to finally go away. So this year.. clean slate. I want to look at everything not as being defeated.. I want to look at my body not as being disgusted, I want to look at my life and not feel like I am failing by not doing everything someone else might be doing. I need to learn to be happy... and I get big huge moments.. then I crash.. I feel good about myself until I see a picture.. then I crash.. I need to stop the crash.. I need to stop this downward spiral of self hate and find myself a better person in 2011.. How can anyone love me.. if I don't even like myself.
2011 here we come.. don't let me down..
Namaste,
Elizabeth
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