Something in the Air

And it's the fresh, crisp, smell and feel of fall. I spend all year waiting for this feeling inside.. this special time of year where I am at peace...everything is heightened.. my physical and spiritual awareness will peak and then I will wait again for this.. overwhelming contentment to happen once again.

I love the smell of the cold air as it hits the grass that is still hot from the sun. I can almost taste the leaves starting to realize soon they will be brilliant shades of reds, oranges, and yellows. The sun feels warm not hot....and the air around me smells like fresh cut hay. Everything is okay in the world.. at least my little moment.. at least for now. I am in love... with every song, touch, feeling , sensation, everything is less painful... my feelings less cynical.. Whatever transformation overtakes my entire being is beyond me and I really can't explain it other than the best hug ever.

I have given in to the feeling of being home. I sat in the back today with the kids and I was remembering my childhood as it passed by my car window not too long ago... and it felt right. Watching the fields, and houses, and people roll by your window.. only for a moment then gone off to the next array of beautiful things.. the sky.. the trees.. your familiar road.. the feel of the turns that almost instinctively tell you that home is just one more turn away.

I look forward to all of my festivals and activities... food.. and time with friends and family. Today is so nice that it's hard to believe it's just beginning.

We went to the Sweet Tater festival today with the whole family Kevin, Randy and the kids.. He bought sweet tea for me and this kids.. then took everyone on a train ride.. and bought tickets so William could ride on this big inflatable slide. Amelia has been warming up to him a lot lately..she even sat right beside him on the train by herself. Kevin's Dad loves my babies and they both love him so much. I swear that I will do good by him.. everything I can do that is in my power and even not in my power to do for him I will do. If I could cure cancer with my thoughts.. it would already be gone. I love having him here. He doesn't seem to realize he is not a burden but a huge benefit.. and that we all love him. He has had one of the worst hands dealt to a person... and I plan to throw the whole deck out and start over. He is not someone to be pitied because of what is happening.. but to be cherished and loved for the wonderful person he is.. I am going to miss him terribly.. if I could take on his pain.. I would do it in a heartbeat.

Time moves slowly... and it flies by... and I just want to hold on to it.. Hold onto my sweet little guy who keeps making me glow with pride every day. Hold onto my precious baby girl.. who wants to stay a baby all day.. but be a big girl sometimes..

Curled up with a baby tends to be my given talent it's certainly a hobby... I wish I didn't have to be so scattered all the time.. One thing my Daddy told me to have. "Focus.. you need to focus otherwise you can't do anything.. chasing everything" I didn't listen.. mostly cause I am stubborn and want everything. I choose to focus on making my children, being a good mother, a good wife, a good caretaker, a good friend, daughter, sister and trying to sing for the short while I am here. I don't think that is too much to ask..

It's late.. later than I want it to be and I want to be in bed and try to read a little and stop spending money we don't have trying to buy myself some peace of mind and a little bit of joy cause my joy is already here. With everything that has happened lately.. I did go about retailing my pain away... now it's time to stop causing Dave Ramsy's strokes and get back to where we need to be..

Doesn't help there are tons of really awesome sales right now...

Okay.. a book is calling me..

Much love
Namaste,
Elizabeth