And it begins with a tooth

Houston we have a tooth... And not just any tooth a sharp shark like gnawing slippery tooth. And it's tearing my little world apart! Oh my sweet little baby has a tooth and not only that, he's actually crawling as of this memorial day. What happened!?! I blinked and it all happened at once. This little person now when he wants to come to me doesn't uh uh uh and grunt but gets his little chunky legs up and crawls to me<3 following me around the house like a pet turtle just making his way slowly around the bend. He keeps me so happy. His face just makes me feel more love than I thought my heart could handle.. His sweet soft curly locks of hair make me weep with joy. I'm so in love with my sweet baby . ..... And in the next corner is William. I feel strongly about the good in him but he succumbs to peer pressure and the pressure to show out far to easily now ... He does try very hard to please me :) I miss getting to sit down and snuggle with him and read a good book. Amelia is trying.. Trying my nerves, my patience and my will lol she is sweet as syrup one minute and then I think I have birth to a golem the next . The words I hate you mommy were never uttered more than from this child. Constantly whines about how tired she is when it's time to pick up her room and toys... But has enough energy to whine incessantly on and on and then begs for her iPod or iPad and then when finally exhausting all measures because it's just a short trip out she freaks out lays on the ground screaming . This cannot be my sweet little girl .. This is some creature from a dark and distant land... Terrible twos have nothing in this 3 soon to be 4 year old who will pee just out of spite . She can go and be potty trained but now he is reversing everything ... Holy crap on a cracker batman I dont know what caused that. We've been doing great and being home/being as a family more... It isn't fair that I can't enjoy my children the way I like. We do better alone but I hate being alone . I miss what I perceive to be normal... And what is normal isn't what is happening . Is it better or worse? I think it's just not consistent . I just keep meditating on him.. I Remember a lecture Joseph Campbell was giving and he was talking about a lady who said he couldn't feel god and didn't know how to pray and Buddha or the like said you love your child and see god in him and feel love through him... Now I am not saying that the whole god thing is real but the feeling is. I feel more whole here with him than without him.. When bad things happen I cling to him my sweet baby and I feel so much better about the world because he's in it. He is my reason for working and striving as are all of my children.. I want so much for them... Everything is coming together and I hope I can live up to what they need me to be. Namaste, Elizabeth