Yesterday we drove down to Gulfport, Mississippi and it was a good long drive, but my little guy was such an angel! He finally got sleepy around 7 and I just curled up against him as he held my hand. I was being unusually grumpy this whole week and I can't figure out why, but then he holds my hand and it just melts me. He was so sweet, just smiling as he dreamt..
My Buddha Baby makes me want to be so much better than I am. I work so hard but I know I can work harder if it meant a better life for him. Being a good mama is the most important thing a woman could be, especially in an age of materialism and greed. Being a mother is giving of yourself and all of yourself.. then finding something more deep down and giving that too.
When you look at yourself you tend to think of your external appearance and what others think of you, but to your child you aren't what you are on the outside , you are his guide through this world. To him at least at this point in his young life you are something so much more than anything you could dream yourself to be. You have a clean slate .. tabula rasa.. you are the best and most loving person in the world.. so keep reminding yourself to not take that task lightly..
We get so worked up over meaningless frivolousity that we forgot what we really mean to be and what we are to others...especially what we mean to our children..
You might think your life is mundane or even ordinary.. but when you have children.. your life is the guidepost for the future....
It's a long road home.. but slow down.. take that long walk.. enjoy the breeze on your face.. because those are the things that matter... not how much you have or how organized your house is ( although how desperately you want that) it's those things that make this life worth living.. It's the hugs and the kisses that are only documented by the love in your heart...
A mother's heart is constantly weeping.... in pain and in love...
Let this day be the one filled with love..
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